A few weeks ago, DH came into the house from the garage asking me to come look at something. “Can’t. Cleaning the bathroom,” I said while clipping my fingernails and planning what to make for supper.
“You’re kidding me. You started that two hours ago,” he replied incredulously.
“So? It is a big ass bathroom you know.” What I didn’t tell him – which he probably already knew — was that in those two hours I had also helped my daughter re-organize her closet, removed my fingernail polish, talked on the phone, went through the mail, embarked on a fly-swatting reconnaissance, and Facebooked.
Of course, this was all carried out intermittently with the bathroom detail.
Hi, I’m Misty, and I’m a zig-zagger.
I can’t seem to help myself.
It’s not just in the domestic-goddess realm either. I zig-zag when I shop, write, eat, pay bills, and exercise. Pretty much the only time I’m truly linear is when I read. (I can’t understand how people can read the ending of a story first! That would totally unwind my brain synapses.)
I like to think of this as creative multi-tasking, or taking the scenic route to job completion, or even non-paranoid productivity.
As you can imagine, this has caused my ultra linear husband to illicit more than a few raised eyebrows. Sometimes I hear him
stalking approaching when I told him I’d be doing one thing—and of course I’m not—so I have to run back (literally) to the thing I told him I’d be doing. (Not that I feel guilty or anything. I just…do.)
Like right now.
I told him I was only going to pay bills (he’s waiting for the computer to work from home), but then I thought about this blog topic, and well, GEEZ, I wouldn’t want to forget any of this
shit good stuff…I mean, right?! (He’s only had to ask me twice if I’m done yet.)
Thank goodness he’s the most patient person ever because someone else probably would have divorced me by now.
PS. Okay, so I know this isn’t totally a Mars vs. Venus thing because there are plenty of women who are very linear.
PSS. I can be linear when I absolutely have to be, but it
makes me want to commit ritual suicide feels unnatural.
PSSS. Phrases like “stop and smell the roses” had to have come from zig-zaggers, so you linears should be grateful. Or something.
PSSSS. Anybody want a sandwich?
What about you? Are you a zig-zagger or a linear to-doer? If you’re a zig-zagger, do you feel like you need a support group and 12-step plan? If you’re a linear,
do you feel superior are you glad? How have you suffered as a result of your predisposition?